i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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