marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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