the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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