And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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