let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
