the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
