So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
