I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
