Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
