The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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