if i can run in heels then i can drive
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
