youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's a Shit stain on my heart
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
