why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
