They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
