The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize