gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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