you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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