you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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