White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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