im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
