he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
