i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
