singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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