Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
