'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
