Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
