I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
