If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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