i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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