What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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