Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is wine microwaveable?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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