I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
