Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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