Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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