I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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