Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
