I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
