im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
