Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
