my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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