We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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