there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
