you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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