i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
