he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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