I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The air was thick with penises
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
