You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize