he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
