i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
