There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
