That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
