i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
