So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize