How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
