sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
