hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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