It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize