I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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