Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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