Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Say something about gay babies.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize